Comedy Monologue - The Charity Boyfriend (Aryan)

 

SHORT COMEDY SITUATION

Do dost café me baithke chai pee rahe hote hain.
Ek dost chill hai, doosra thoda tensed but happy.

Tabhi rich–beautiful girlfriend ka car wahaan se nikalta hai — luxury wali.
Woh ladka thoda shy ho ke haath hila deta hai.

Dusra dost usko dekhke instant roast mode me chala jaata hai.

COMEDY MONOLOGUE (Friend teasing his friend)

“Bhai… ek baat sach-sach bol.
Tu girlfriend banane gaya tha ya scholarship lene?
Matlab hum jaise log toh Google Pay pe cashback dekh ke khush ho jaate hain…
Aur teri girlfriend?
Amazon kholti hai, seedha ‘Sort by: Highest Price’ pe click karti hai.”

(He looks dramatically shocked)

“Tu uske saath date pe jaata hoga na?
Bill ke time pe tera soul body se nikalta hoga.
Waiter ke haath me machine aati hogi aur tu andar se:
‘Bhaiya split please… split rok do… kidney ka EMl chal raha hai!’”

(He laughs harder)

“Aur bhai, beauty ki baat mat kar.
Teri girlfriend itni sundar hai ki
Google pe ‘beautiful’ search karo toh
tera khud ka photo aata hai —
‘Error 404: Logic Not Found’.”

(He pats his friend’s back)

“Sach me, tu kaise manage karta hai?
Main toh soch raha hoon tera daily routine kuch aisa hota hoga:
Subah uth kar affirmations —
‘I deserve her… I think… I hope… maybe.’”

(He walks in circles like doing a TED Talk)

“Dekho dosti ki baat hai, isliye bata raha hoon…
Teri girlfriend tujhse zyada ameer bhi hai, sundar bhi hai…
Lekin agar usne tujhe choose kiya hai na?
Toh bhai…
Yeh toh world’s biggest charity project chal raha hai.
UNESCO ko apply kar — award mil jaayega!”

(He smirks)

“Par tension mat le…
Hum dost teri reality hamesha yaad dilaate rahenge.
Taaki kabhi tu bhi ‘upper class’ feel na karne lag jaaye.”